Tag Archives: oscar wilde

The Aesthete’s Lament

The Aesthete’s Lament

He sees a pair of sweatpants and pants and sweats.
Has panic attacks over unpressed khaki slacks.
Grimaces over Christmas sweaters and jackets with letters, man.
He can’t spot a sports jersey without feeling queasy.
Someone’s got Crocs on and it’s making him uneasy.

He finds function over fashion a dysfunctional passion.
He’s all ascots and porkpie hats,
smoking jackets and backpocket handkerchiefs.
A dapper child of Oscar Wilde
getting sick at the wardrobes
from the Wal Mart aisle.

He saunters down the street,
glances sideways at a department store display
of perilous apparel and garments gone
and starts bleeding from his eyes,
leaks crimson on his finest peacoat,
collapses on the pavement,
and chokes a sob from his throat:

Composed 2012. Gratitude to Michael Lohrman for the title. Read the rest of this entry

A Little Matter Of Nomenclature

A Little Matter Of Nomenclature

I’ve been meaning to clear something up for some time now.
It’s a little matter of nomenclature.
Every time some caveman motorist screams from his lifted truck,
“Hipster faggot!”
or some such endearing expletive
and then screams off to the sports bar or whatever,
I never have time to make my rebuttal,
which is:
I’m not a hipster, I’m a dandy.

I can see how your feeble, just barely functioning minds
might get confused on the matter.
After all, anybody with a style,
any style,
that’s not sagging shorts and crooked caps and Metal Mulisha
by default,
and therefore fair game
for your limited intellect
and insults

Read the rest of this entry