Tag Archives: crime

Nostalgia Is, Essentially, Temporal Epilepsy

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Nostalgia Is, Essentially, Temporal Epilepsy

I don’t have a checkered past—
It’s more polkadot
or pinstripe
or paisley
even.

Some of it I’ll never forget, but more of it I’ll never remember.
And thank heavens for that:
I’ve read the police blotters I’ve made cameos in
and if I can take their word for it
then I’d just rather leave certain things blotted, please.
How do I look on paper?
Well, that all depends on the paper.
(College transcripts and rap sheets, unfortunately, are two entirely different kinds of coverage.)

One of my finest moments:
Being asked by a cop what I was on probation for
and
without wasting any time
replying
“Bad grades”
and smirking in his stupid fucking pig face
because it was true
and I thought myself
oh so clever.
The moral of the story?
Hubris gets you handcuffs
and my answer to the same question today
would be very different, indeed.

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Dear Dionysus XXII: A No Contact Order Of Affairs

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Dear Dionysus XXII: A No Contact Order Of Affairs

Dear Dionysus,

I found myself in a precarious spot, indeed. I was facing serious charges for one, and for two I was single. And I hated being single, Dionysus.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t accustomed to being alone, for I had been that way for most of my young life. I just had this silly notion in my head that only losers were single because if one is single, it is clearly because they can’t find anybody to date them. And I thirsted for validation, love: I equated being single with being a fat kid that no girls wanted to talk to (which, of course, I had been), and there was no way that my pride would allow for such a thing.

And there was all that other stuff like being in love with Isadora forever and being soul mates and such, I suppose.

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