The wages of sin will stretch your picaro’s pocketbook real thin. Why the pissed demeanor, for a couple of misdemeanors? Check out Miss Doomsayer over there, with that robe she aped from Death and her Pavlov’s gavel (I ain’t your dog, bitch
and I can’t be conditioned,
no matter what condition my condition is in).
Order in the court:
I’m on the docket with a prayer in my pocket
(Oh Philomena, I didn’t mean it. I’ll be a good boy).
I even listened to Jailbreak (Phillynot is a saint, too)
and read Casanova’s memoirs (breaking out of jail requires candlesticks and paintings of saints),
but I still don’t like the look on the bailiff’s face
(he’s all handcuffs and strip searches, latex gloves and Miranda fights).
Have you ever used any aliases?
Mickey Phineas Chesterfield
Sterling Von Sexy Pants
Johnny Dionysus Warpath
Sir Rateval Hurtlinge…
I’m sorry, I was just trying to be formal.
At least I’ll walk out the way I came
and live to plea bargain another day
because I ain’t hip to the gaol game
and certain things I won’t let them take away.
Besides, orange isn’t a very flattering color on me.